you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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