I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
