are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
