Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
