she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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