I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
