I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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