Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you didnt know i had herpes?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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