No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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