Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
