Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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