There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
