Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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