Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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