elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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