bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
