I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
