I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
