Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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