oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
