I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
