What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
