Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
