After last night, I could never be a politician.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
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