wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
