if i can run in heels then i can drive
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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