Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
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I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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