3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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