I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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