So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
