My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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