what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
