Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize