You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
