I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
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