On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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