she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
