I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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