yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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