You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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