if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
