I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
