What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
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