his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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