Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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