i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
