So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
