What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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