I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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