Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
