I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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