Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
