it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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