Tell her she can't have a vagina
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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