the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
