We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he thought i was a dude.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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