i just wanna soil my oats bro
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
