the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
im on a boat
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