The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
