After last night, I could never be a politician.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
