Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
