I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If that was your dad, he is hot
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
