dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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