Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there was a trapeze. enough said
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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