U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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